Eric’s Email to Me

Dear Moosehead,

I was thinking of you in the shower this morning. At least, I was in the shower when I was thinking of you, I wasn’t thinking of you being in the shower. Although if it would make you happy I could think of you in the shower. However, I wasn’t. But I could.

Anyway, it occurred to me (while I was in the shower) that your name spelled backwards is “NOSILLA”. This may be something that you have already considered, but it made me think of a giant Japanese monster.

Or a nasal spray.

So this got me thinking about a great idea for a movie screen play. A nuclear accident causes this giant monster to awake from its nest under the sea and it comes ashore in Osaka. Instead of teeth or fangs or anything bloody like that, when its abdomen is squeezed it emits a misty spray out of its butt which causes all of the nasal membranes of the Japanese people to shrink to such an extent that their nasal cavities become overly large. This result in massive chaos as karaoke bars all around the island are filled with these little Japanese men singing like Barry White.

If I can sell this screen play, I will cut you in on the deal because you were my inspiration. I want to get John Houseman to play the monster if he is available (and still alive?). Britney Spears will be his love interest.

Has your beloved RON ever offered to split millions of dollars of movie residuals with you? I think not.

But more to the point of this e-mail. Do you ever see J.J. Walker anymore? If you do come across him, I was just wondering about a couple of the jokes he used to tell. The thing is I don’t remember the jokes, only parts of them. One had something to do with “Death by Chi Chi”. The other had a punch line which was something like “Don’t listen to the sheep! She lies, she lies!!!”. I would like to know the rest of the jokes.

Any help would be appreciated.

Love,
Eric

P.S. I am just going to send Kyle a check ($64.93). I have given up trying to extract Christmas wishes out of the little retarded miscreant (just kidding, he really isn’t a miscreant). I’ll get the shoes for my darling Lindsay.

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