Since Christmas will soon be here, I thought it would be a good time to resurrect the poem that has become a holiday tradition on the NosillaCast. In 2019, we lost our beloved Honda Bob, a long-time NosillaCastaway and contributor to the show and a very dear friend. But his memory and the silliness he inspired in the NosillaCastaways will live on.<\/p>\n
So grab a hot beverage and some cookies, sit back, relax, and enjoy a slightly modified version of The Night Before Christmas, dedicated to Honda Bob.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
(with credit and apologies to Clement Clarke Moore or Henry Livingston)<\/p>\n
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house “Happy Christmas to all,<\/strong><\/em><\/span> and please stay subscribed.”<\/span><\/p>\n
\nNot a creature was stirring, not even a . . . track pad; (ok, work with me here)<\/span>
\nThe <\/span>AirPods <\/span>were hung by the chimney with care,
\nIn hopes that<\/span> all things iMaker <\/span>soon would be there;<\/span>
\nThe NosillaCastaways <\/span>were nestled all snug in their beds,
\nWhile visions of<\/span> iPads <\/span>danced in their heads;<\/span>
\nAnd podfeet <\/span>in her ‘kerchief, and I in my <\/span>cravat,
\n<\/span>Had just settled down for a long winter’s <\/span>Skype chat,<\/span>
\nWhen out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
\nI sprang from the<\/span> keyboard <\/span>to see what was the matter.<\/span>
\nAway to the windoze . . . <\/span>I flew like a flash <\/span>drive,
\n<\/span>Tore open the shutters and <\/span>nearly did a nosedive.<\/span>
\nThe moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
\nGave the lustre of<\/span> brushed aluminum <\/span>to objects below,<\/span>
\nWhen, what to my eyes seemed very bizarre,
\n<\/span>But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny <\/span>cars,<\/span>
\nWith a little old driver, <\/span>with whom elves hobnob,
\n<\/span>I knew in a moment it must be <\/span>Honda Bob.<\/span>
\nMore rapid than <\/span>5G his vehicles <\/span>they came,
\nAnd he<\/span> tweeted, <\/span>and shouted, and called them by name;<\/span>
\n“Now, Accord! <\/span>now, <\/span>Civic! <\/span>now, <\/span>Fit <\/span>and <\/span>CR-V!
\n<\/span>On, <\/span>Element! <\/span>on <\/span>Ridgeline! <\/span>on, <\/span>Pilot! <\/span>and <\/span>Odyssey!<\/span>
\nTo the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
\nNow<\/span> drive <\/span>away! <\/span>drive <\/span>away! <\/span>drive <\/span>away all!”<\/span>
\nAs dry leaves that before the reality distortion field endowed,
\n<\/span>When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the <\/span>cloud,<\/span>
\nSo up to the house-top the <\/span>vehicles <\/span>they flew,
\nWith the sleigh full of<\/span> Apple products, <\/span> and <\/span>Honda Bob <\/span>too.<\/span>
\nAnd then, in a twinkling, I heard with a squeal
\n<\/span>The<\/span> skidding and sliding <\/span>of each little<\/span> wheel.<\/span>
\nAs I drew in my head, and was turning around,
\nDown the chimney<\/span> Bob <\/span>came with a bound.<\/span>
\nHe was dressed in coveralls, <\/span>from his head to his foot,
\nAnd his clothes were all tarnished with<\/span> oil <\/span>and soot;<\/span>
\nA bundle of SSDs <\/span>he had flung<\/span> in his Scott-EVest,
\n<\/span>And he looked like<\/span> a geek who was extremely obsessed.<\/span>
\nA wink of his eye and<\/span> a look not too pious,
\n<\/span>Soon gave me to know<\/span> he had an Apple bias;<\/span>
\nHe spoke not a word,<\/span> but texted his concern,
\n<\/span>And filled all the stockings; then<\/span> hit return,<\/span>
\nAnd laying his finger aside his<\/span> levitation app,
\n<\/span>A command to his iPad,<\/span> up the chimney, <\/span>ASAP!;<\/span>
\nHe sprang to his sleigh,<\/span> and his autos, did they bristle,
\n<\/span>And away they all flew<\/span> as if shot from a missile.<\/span>
\nBut I heard him exclaim,<\/span> as the poem prescribed,<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n