Tom Merritt was on Chit Chat Across the Pond to talk net neutrality. I confess that after all my “I have made fire” talk about writing a script for chapter marks, it didn’t actually work. Learn how to make Holiday Card Address Labels using plain old Apple Contacts. Rush Sherman asks our first ever video Dumb Question – why do I use Downcast when I clearly said I used Pocket Casts before? Patreon did a major shift in how they charge patrons and pay creators, and I wanted to tell you how I feel about it and what hopefully will be changing. In a rare moment of music enjoyment, I suggest you buy If Every Day Were Christmas from Slau Halatyn. Bart Busschots brings us Security Bits about the macOS Root Bug, a HomeKit Bug, and changes to iOS Backup Encryption.
Since it’s less than a week before Christmas Eve is upon us, I thought now would be a good time to resurrect the poem that has become a holiday tradition on the NosillaCast. So grab a hot beverage and some cookies, sit back, relax and enjoy a slightly modified version of The Night Before Christmas.
The Night Before Christmas
with an EVER So Slight Macintosh Bias
(with credit and apologies to Clement Clarke Moore or Henry Livingston)
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a . . . track pad; (ok, work with me here)
The ear-buds were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes thatall things iMaker soon would be there;
The NosillaCastaways were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions ofiPads danced in their heads;
And podfeet in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cravat,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s Skype chat,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from thekeyboard to see what was the matter.
Away to the windoze . . . I flew like a flash drive,
Tore open the shutters and nearly did a nosedive.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre ofbrushed aluminum to objects below,
When, what to my eyes seemed very bizarre,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny cars,
With a little old driver, with whom elves hobnob,
I knew in a moment it must be Honda Bob.
More rapid than 4G his vehicles they came,
And hetweeted, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, Accord! now, Civic! now, Fit and CR-V!
On, Element! on Ridgeline! on, Pilot and Odyssey!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Nowdrive away! drive away! drive away all!”
As dry leaves that before the reality distortion field endowed,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the cloud,
So up to the house-top the vehicles they flew,
With the sleigh full of Apple products, and Honda Bob too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard with a squeal
The skidding and sliding of each little wheel.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Bob came with a bound.
He was dressed in coveralls, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with oil and soot;
A bundle of SSDs he had flung in his Scott-EVest,
And he looked like a geek who was extremely obsessed.
A wink of his eye and a look not too pious,
Soon gave me to know he had a Macintosh bias;
He spoke not a word, but texted his concern,
And filled all the stockings; then hit return,
And laying his finger aside his levitation app,
A command to his iPad, up the chimney, ASAP!;
He sprang to his sleigh, and his autos, did they bristle,
And away they all flew as if shot from a missile.
But I heard him exclaim, as the poem prescribed,
“Happy Christmas to all, and please stay subscribed.”