Our Sadomasochistic Relationship with Apple

graph showing crossover of the two plans at 18 monthsI don’t want any normal people to read or listen to this article. If you hear about a new device from Apple and you think, “hey, maybe I’ll check that out some time after all the nut cases buy it”, then I’m not talking to you. If you find yourself wondering six months after a new device is released whether the bugs have been wrung out, not you either. But if you hyperventilate while watching Apple Keynotes, or if you stand in line on day one of a release, or if you sit home pacing in your front room looking for the UPS/FedX person to bring your precious home, I’m talking to you. If you HAVE to have the new Apple device on day one or you’ll DIE, then this is for you.

I read and listen to people scoff at us and wonder why we get so nuts about this stuff. I was talking to Switcher Mark on Twitter the morning after the release of pre-orders for the iPhone 6 and he made what I thought was a very insightful observation. He said, “I’m doubting we needed to endure the torture this morning. We do it because we want to.” He’s right. I’m no clinician of psychology but the concept of a sadomasochistic relationship with Apple sort of rings true to me.

Why did I stand in line for 13 hours to buy an iPhone 4 in 2010? Surely I didn’t want to stand in line that long and as rational people later said, “I NEVER would have done that” all I could reply was, “Me neither!” I didn’t KNOW it was going to be 13 hours when I lined up at 6am for an 8am door opening. I thought it would be a few hours, maybe 3 tops to get the new hotness. Once you’ve invested 4 hours though, you know it can’t possibly be much longer, right? Right? Little did we know that we would start by huddling under blankets in the early morning cold and end up sunburned and cold again as the night fell and we still didn’t have our phones. We didn’t know.
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